Adults Are SO Embarrassing
by StrawberrySquidd
Summary: Tess woke up one gloomy first-day-of a new school just to find out this place is even WORSE than she imagined. Kind of an original story, but influenced why Goosebumps, so why the crap not. Oneshot.


Adults are So Embarrassing

It was an _awful _first day of school. Tess had just moved from the big and bright Seattle to the doom and gloom within the city limits of Salem. Even while the rest of the country was still experiencing a heat wave, this spec on the map was commonly below 50° and submerged in fog. In the morning you'd wake up and it smells like a silo was blown up. One of the worst things, though, apart from being suffocated by stench and half blinded by the mist, Tess's next door neighbor was her math teacher, Ms. Fica… and she was an absolute _witch._

She'd shriek at any living thing that crossed the boundary between the sidewalk and "her sanctuary", whether it be a toad or a real estate agent. There was always a rotten odor coming from her house, and whenever Tess, or anyone else for that matter, walked be, she would glower at them, face twitching, muttering under her breath. Tess could only imagine what she could be saying, and even in her mind, it wasn't pleasant.

6:45. Might as well start this miserable day already, the high school freshman thought. She trudged out of bed and forced herself to shower under the ice water, as low as the pressure was. She got dressed in a simple sweatshirt and a pair of old worn-down jeans, then marched to fridge.

Taco meat, buttermilk, baking soda, onions… and she wasn't sure if that container held leftover mashed potatoes, or if those peaches had finally been consumed by mold. She'd steer clear of whichever it was. Leave it for Dad. A little thanks for dragging her down to this Hell hole with him, after Mom had finally broken up with him for cheating on her with the family dentist, and forgot they had a daughter who had to deal with their crap.

Adults are _so_ embarrassing.

Grabbing a shriveled onion and her overweight schoolbag, Tess made her way out the door, past the grumbling old hag, and sat on the curb that the bus would pick her up at, claiming her into the ranks of the solitary undead, which based at the citadel otherwise known as _school._

The bus came around and Tess snagged a seat near the front so that she could hop off the amazing traveling dirt rag as soon as mortally possible. All around her there were drooling toddlers, save a few boys and a girl closer to her age pinned against the back wall of the bus. Regardless of age, everybody stared at her the whole ride, a look of… _hunger_ in their eyes, a few kindergarteners frothing at the mouth. Even the cross-eyed forth grader sitting next to Tess made her uneasy as he focused on her, glasses tilted, snot dripping down his chin.

She would be delightedly disgusted and amused if this weren't so unnerving.

As the bus came to a squealing halt in front of a crumbling building (It's hard to believe it passed health inspection… if it had at all), Tess stomped to through the door and into the halls, towards the teacher she'd been assigned for homeroom, until she remembered that the office wanted to see her before heading to her first class. She spotted a sign that said either "office" or "of icc", unsure because of the fading letters. She contemplated asking for directions, but then she realized that the entire building was probably of ick, so she made her way through the throbbing doorway, filled with the same sort of remorse that usually filled her while occupying this excuse of a town ( Or maybe that onion was coming back up ).

Dark, freezing, and… damp? Yes, there was a light mist noticeable, either because one of the bus drivers were too busy gawking at students to pay attention to the road/ building in front of them and decided that the new window looked nice, or the principal was a complete moron and thought the carpet needed watering and left the sprinkler on. There was a _slosh slosh slap _noise as a she walked, almost sucking on her feet, trying to drag her down, causing her to change her mind about it being merely water. It was far too thick… and metallic smelling.

Suddenly a light flickered on overhead, blindingly bright in the darkness, and Tess realized she was dragging herself through some sort of thick, sticky, red goop. It resembled blood, but if it was, it must have been laying there for a while to fester—it was getting tacky, like glue that's been out for a while.

A woman walked out from behind a piece of the room that was jutting out, probably a wall, probably not. She was deathly pale and her hair was whiter than bone, but she looked young. Her eyes and lips were a disturbingly deep red, teeth protruding from both her mouth and her sockets, sharp and tough, read to rip a truck apart.

"Why, hello!" she exclaims, voice not unlike Darth Vader's, human in an inhuman sort of way. "You must be Teressa. We're so delighted to have you here!" Her face darkens. "However, before you can officially complete enrollment to our school, you must join our ranks… of the dead and the damned!"

Mrs. Fica the witch boiled up and out of the slop beneath my feat, hands on fire, cackling like the homely bat she is. Sir snots a lot from earlier on the bus emerges from the wall, looking as though he melted through it, groaning and drooling as much as a jawless fourth grader can.

The albino lady's mouth popped open and her snake of a tongue slithered towards me, teeth sinking into my face, drawing blood, dragging me towards her. I guess somebody skipped breakfast!

Adults are _so_ embarrassing.


End file.
